stitch.. unstitch... stitch... unstitch...

I finally went down to chinatown to get the beads for my t-shirt. I spend 4hours yesterday night sewing one outline of the picture, only to tear it up this afternoon as mum said the picture is too sideway and the whole picture will look too heavy... unstitch all out and start all over again.... but after sewing a few stitches.. i felt it looks ugly!~!~ as the outline did not turn out well... guess I need to unstitch them out again and start again...argh!~~! I can do it!~!

Using this to focus my mind.. to let my mind not wander to anywhere near that place... to run away from the pain that keep piercing through the heart... I have not been sleeping well for the past weeks... having to wake up in the middle of the night.. only to find that its still early... i'm so look forward to the new drama that i'm going to work on... only then i know i will go home everday dead tired and very fast it will be the next day and the cycle goes on for two months non-stop... by then I guess the wound will just heal by itself... but does it matter? No one will sees the difference. In the eyes of everyone.. I will always be the cheerful me in front of others... will people know that this time I have lost everything including myself? I felt that as one ages... its harder for one to heal from a wound.... to forget... to let go... to move on...